…he even tried to pitch a few songs to record companies and the like.
We knew his approach was wrong when we read his letters:
Dear company whatever,
instead of posting my best song ever, as everybody elso presumably does, I thought it would suit your needs better if I sent you something mediocre that has been sitting on the shelf for a while.
After all, a successful album doesn’t consist entirely of smash hits, there have to be some fillers as well.
And this one is a real filler as you will find out if you open the thick layer of clingfilm that I wrapped around the little touchy and slithery object inside the enormous parcel I sent …
Somehow it didn’t work out.